Handling abuse and domestic violence in marriage

violence-in-marriage Domestic violence and emotional abuse are definitely not something one dreams of in a marital life. In fact, these are most disturbing things to occur in someone’s life.

One must understand that when one discusses abuse, it’s not just physical violence that is taken into account. Emotional, verbal and mental cruelty on behalf of either spouse is equally a part of domestic violence.

Generally, women undergo this trauma. And however much we argue that both sides can be impacted, most cases come with women who are thrashed by their spouses.

This is a dangerous situation to deal with as it could be life threatening as well. In extreme situations, divorce is the only option.

However, if there is a scope for reforming one’s spouse; then it certainly should be tried out.

Identifying common abuse tactics

There is a need to understand when the tirades of your spouse amount to something like abuse. The verbal abuse element comes in when your partner keeps using slang and abusive vocabulary against you every other day.

In small matters, he or she might insult you vehemently in front of friends, children or relatives.

Also, mental cruelty sometimes is combined with verbal cruelty. If your partner derives vicarious pleasure out of humiliating you; then identify it as another tactic.

Also, your partner will always interfere with your decisions. There will an attempt on his/her behalf to control all money matters and other financial affairs. Your spouse might try to dominate your lifestyle and pick up quarrels over little issues.

Of course in extreme cases, it could result in bashing and physical abuse. This is the time when you should really gear up to fight for your honor.

Seeking help

Legal help is definitely one option that one could avail. But other than that, one should first make an attempt to understand what led to such a disturbing situation. Is it something to do with your behavior towards your partner?

If your partner is not physically abusive and just likes to deride you, then try to find out whether he has some problem or not. Often issues crop up between couples when they are on unequal financial planes.

Or it could also be because of parental interference and suspicion. If such is the matter, then try and discuss it with your partner.

If there are other kinds of troubles, for example; if your partner becomes abusive due to over-drinking or drug abuse; then it is advisable that you take them to a rehabilitation center.

Marriage counseling is yet another option that aids couples to identify and sort their problems. These measures can often lessen or even wipe out instance of abuse.

However, if the situation is truly worse and you have become a victim of constant physical abuse; then its time seek legal help. Try to get a restraining order against your spouse. Also, you should be strong under such situations if you have kids too.



  • Very insiteful article. I think whenever verbal abuse is present in a marriage it is an indicator that physical abuse will happen if nothing is done to stop the verbal abuse. Will counseling work? It will only if the the abuser is willing to be counseled. I was in a verbally, mentally, and psychologically abusive marriage and I left before it gor worse. Take my advice and leave before physical damage occurs.