There can be two types of relationships – close relationships and closed relationships. The former are those where couples in love share their thoughts and feelings with each other. People in closed relationships, conversely, don’t communicate honestly in spite of being a loving couple. One of the partners in this relationship probably fears intimacy.Certainly, the first type of relationship is more desirable. Being in a relationship with a loved one involves sharing your life and everything in it with him or her. Fear of intimacy prevents this closeness in a relationship. The person who is afraid of intimacy creates an invisible barrier between himself/herself and his/her partner. The consequent distance between the couple could damage or break the relationship.
It is essential that couples recognize this fear in each other. Some signs include – unwillingness to share important information, uneasiness to talk about feelings, avoiding conversations related to his/her emotions, low self-esteem and an unaffectionate attitude.
Intimacy is never easy as complete honesty with another person involves unconditional trust and love. Avoid allowing fear of intimacy to ruin a happy relationship with your beloved.
See yourself clearly. Don’t condemn yourself for your weaknesses; rather learn to accept them. Everyone has his or her own strengths; no human being is perfect. Negative images about oneself often lead to a fear of intimacy with others.
Leave the past behind
Fear of intimacy in present relationships could result from rejection in a past relationship. Unless this wound heals, being affectionate toward someone new will be hard. Find the strength or seek help to deal with this hurt in order to move on.
A Chinese proverb says, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Sharing one’s deepest desires and emotions will be difficult; therefore try to share small things first – your day at work or hobbies. Share your fear of intimacy with your partner too. Talking about a problem makes dealing with it easier.
Acceptance of the fear of intimacy and a desire to overcome it will help abundantly in getting rid of it entirely.