A comforting shoulder-help a friend get over a break up

comforting-shoulder If you’ve ever had a broken heart, you’ll know the pain your friend is going through when he or she breaks up with a lover. Even if you haven’t, you need to understand the pain your friend is going through after their break-up.

Know from the start that you cannot take away the pain completely. Don’t try to offer advice, suggestions or meddle more than necessary with his or her former relationship and lover. This includes attempts to make them get back together. You may end up making matters worse.

Being a good listener
Let them talk about their feelings and sorrow. Avoid showing impatience, mockery or anger. Also don’t interrupt them with tales of your own bad break ups. There will be time for that at a later stage. Right now, he or she just needs to pour their heart out.

Don’t be negative
A good friend will probably be outraged at their friend’s former lover for treating them in such a cruel manner. Even if you always knew that Mr. or Ms. Ex was bad news, keep your feelings to yourself. Your friend may get back together with him/her and you’ll come out as the bad one.

Bring joy and cheer
Once the mourning period is over, you need to help your friend get past the whole relationship. Cheer them up by taking them out for picnics, day trips, or shopping. Anything that brings a smile on their face will work wonders.

A difficult time
Sometimes the break up period can be so terrible that it has a negative impact upon the person. He or she may turn to vices like drinking or drugs for consolation. It is your duty as a friend to ensure that he or she does not cross over to the dark side. Be there for them constantly in their hour of need.

Making fun of your friend, shouting at them or saying “I told you so” is not wise. You need to boost their morale, not bring it down further. Be a friend, not a fiend!